Distinction: Active Listening Vs. Quiet Listening

Distinction: Active Listening Vs. Quiet ListeningCategory: More Distinctions: A superb coaching tool (CY209)
Originally Submitted on 9/1/2000.

Definitions
Active Listening - Listening so as to hear all that another person is saying.
Quiet Listening - Listening so as to feel all that the other is feeling.

Comparisons
Hearing 100% of what is being transmitted both information and feeling vs. Hearing so as to come to empathetically understand the other Seeks to understand the other person vs. Seeks to feel what the other is feeling Not listening just for information vs. Not being passive

Example
Active listening is used with situations, often difficult ones, where the listener needs to know what is happening and the speaker needs to feel heard. It is used in adversarial situations where there is confusion and distress such as exists sometimes between parents and their children, or teachers and their students. Quiet listening is used more often as a sympathetic ear to hear what another is going through. Friends frequently listen quietly to us, as do counselors or therapists.

Key Point
Both types of listening are valuable. Active listening tells the other you understand, whereas quiet listening communicates that you care. Each seeks to identify with the speaker by paying attention to the other in a way appropriate to the speaker's state.

Benefits
Learning to listen both ways will enable one to solve problems, deal with misunderstandings, clarify perspectives and heal relationships. People need to be heard and to know that you care.

Related distinctions
Listening with the heart vs. Listening Listening with the eyes vs. Listening Authentic listening vs. Authentic expressing

About the SubmitterThis piece was originally submitted by Charles Powell, Professional Business Coach, who can be reached at www.coach@coach-charles.com. Charles Powell wants you to know: he is especially skilled at assisting clients in learning language that makes a difference in their success.

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